My Pregnancy Journey
Well what can I say-pregnancy is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What an experience, but it does not come without its challenges.
Today I think back to the whole process and can do nothing but smile from ear to ear that God blessed me with such a wonderful happy, healthy babyboy-Mason.
I will never forget that day in December 2011 when we spoke to my parents about having a baby and obviously them being parents insisted to ‘go for it’. We first spoke about finances and looked at the bigger picture since I was studying, among other things and it all sounded good.
I thought I am 25 years old and not getting any younger, plus I don’t want to be a ‘grandma’ to my own children.
So we ‘bit the bullet’ and waited until I was ovulating, which was the middle January 2012. We gave it a shot and it worked. I will never forget that day I peed two lines on the stick. I still have the picture. I was on top of the world. We were so happy especially since it was our first attempt and it worked. You hear of so many stories of adoption and people struggling to have children, so you really truly appreciate knowing you are going to bring a life into this world. For people who struggle, please don’t take this wrong way but I firmly believe it’s ‘all in your head’. Your mind is one powerful weapon. Therefore I don’t believe in saying we ‘trying’ because has no end result. Say we going to have baby sometime this year as a way to prepare your mind and body, because I know some of you out there will say you are putting pressure on yourself to have a baby by that timeframe and if it does not happen you worsen things mentally and physically. That is the catch though, you need to know and accept that God decides-so word it accordingly is all I am saying. Family and friends kept telling us it may take two months, a year, you can’t say even if you’re not on contraceptive. I was not on the contraceptive like the pill or injection-we used condoms. I said you’ll be surprised because I knew I have been waiting to have a child for a long time, even though I was so young.
My mom had Endometriosis which is a disorder with her Fallopian tubes-hers was too small so after trying many things, it never worked out. My parents then decided to adopt myself and my brother. They changed both our names. Mine went from Lauren to Nicole and my brother went from Mark to Joel. I named my brother Joel because as young as I was (aged 4) I liked a boy with that name, plus my parents liked the name also. Mark then became Joel’s second name but my second name changed from Wynn to Anne, which was some family member of mine who passed away years ago. I must admit I don’t think and many agree that I don’t look like a Lauren. Nicole is perfect and the bonus is that it has a meaning that I truly believe was meant for me. Nicole means ‘Victory of the people’.
During my third year of studying PR at CPUT (2012), we work, well intern full-time for the year and had classes every Friday. I interned at The College of Magic and had a ball of a time. The College of Magic that is a registered ngo aims to “provide the youth of South Africa with the lifelong gift of self-esteem, via the magic of performing arts.” (According to www.collegeofmagic.com). That was the best company-ngo that I could have worked for. I worked with amazing people and grew personally as well as professionally. We had to complete a minimum of 8 portfolios for our varsity work and even though I had a tough pregnancy, I passed all 4 subjects and also got 2 distinctions.
When I say tough pregnancy I mean that I struggled to cope physical and mentally. All the hormonal adjustments were a one of a kind experience-lol. I was not sick a lot, but I had a lot of backache and migraines, among other things. Oh my word, the vomiting first trimester was tiring man. By my second trimester my Gynae found that my body was not accepting the vitamin I had to take, which caused the vomiting, so I continued taking the everyday usual vitamin Pholic Acid. Luckily it as morning sickness only and did not go through the day and night, lie it does for some people. I also experienced heavy constipation that I ended up being rushed to hospital. My husband thought I was a drama queen but that pain I will never want to experience again, plus the smells were death. I would rather go through child birth again-seriously. Another experience was in my third trimester, where I had ‘Carpal Tunnel Syndrome’ where the pain in my hands was excruciating. The doctor said something to do with the compression of the nerve that controls sensation and movement in the hands…etc.
I had such a wonderful doctor (Doctor Brink) and Gynae (Doctor Maygan) that was basically famous. Many people knew him in Cape Town. He delivered thousands of babies but he was my Gynae this time as he recently stopped delivering babies and he referred me to Constantiaberg Mediclinics Doctor Brink. He is a genius. I am thinking back to our first ultra sound where even though my baby was the size of a poppy seed basically, we heard the heartbeat and that was amazing. It was overwhelming and so emotional. That is where it hits you that you really are carrying a baby inside of you. They say all babies are girls until the second trimester when their genital organs start developing to see if it going to remain a girl or become a boy. I knew I was going to have a boy, I dreamt it and even prayed for it, even though I know all I should have worried about is a healthy baby. I could not help myself but pray for that also. My husband and I were looking at book regarding hair, eye colour, and other various features. Let’s just say ‘sexy’+’sexy’=one beautiful baby. Well this is what my husband (Evan) says. Evan does not have the best hair and all he wanted was for the baby to not have his hair and feet. Apparently Evan’ family genes (Diedricks) is strong but since I am adopted I insisted we don’t know regarding mine (Wakefields). Anyway I was right about my baby it was clear in the scan when I was about 18 weeks or so that we were having a boy. I was too scared to have a girl first time, not like you can choose, but I am sure you know what I mean. I did not want to struggle with girls, menstruation, hormones, etc. for my first pregnancy, plus I heard and read that girls don’t sleep through the night, so regardless of whether that was true or not at that time, I just prayed for a boy.
At 26 weeks pregnant (looking like a glowing whale) we had natal classes (6 week course) at Constantiaberg Mediclinic in Constantia. This was amazing. They teach what I feel is all the essentials but at the end of the day there is not rule book for parenting-you learn it as it comes. I remember on the last day we of classes we listened to Shania Twain’s ‘From this moment’ and all the women were brought to tears, including some men mind you. It was beautiful and I can’t wait in the next two to three year to have another baby. I say two to three years because I know I will be settling into my career by then. J Finances will be a lot better as well.
I am remembering now how my husband would tell friends and family that when a woman is pregnant that is not her because she is possessed that time. The sad and funny thing is that it is all true. I still feel the effects today regarding my hormones.
Before I gave birth I had an amazing photo-shoot with my friends friend who does photography but more as a hobby. Roxanne Lee Belcher is my varsity friend Roses friend. That was the best decision ever. Our maternity shoot pictures were incredible and I can’t wait to work with her again next month. The pictures were so great that other family and friends are using her as well. Like I said I give credit where credit is due and Roxanne rocks! Plus it was only R300 unlike the R3000 maternity shoots I saw online.
A week later I had my so called ‘surprised’ baby-shower even though I insisted I did not want anything because of money and I hate asking people for gifts, etc. I by accident one day picked up the landline to make a call and over heard my mom arranging it. I hang up shortly because I honestly did not want to know any of it.-in the good way. Bottom line-it was unbelievable and I could not thank my friends and family enough. They helped me all the way through and still till today. I can ask for help or advice and they will jump for me and Mason. I am truly blessed and grateful for all I have and that God has blessed me with. I still have so much baby toiletries till today. We only needed to buy diapers, wetwipes and formula, plus Constantiaberg gave a mommy bag with essentials in anyway.
In this week I ended my fun internship at The College of Magic as they were concerned regarding my health, so they told me to rest and let me finish up 3 weeks earlier than when my contract stated. My lecturers all understood.
Anyway let’s skip to the birth.
On the 26 September 2013 my husband and I went in for our last check-up. As always all was perfect-he dropped in the correct position for delivery (labour) but the doctor could not get the circumference of his head due to this. My original due date was the 4 October 2012 and the doctor advised that with first time pregnancies 65% of the babies are born late. I told him “watch me be in the 35%” (lol). I could not wait anymore. I was hoping Mason would of been born on my birthday which I was pushing for-21 September but he chose his own date. I really wanted him to be a Virgo because I am. I know it’s wrong to hope or try for this because all I should say and pray to God for is a healthy babyboy but I could not help myself. I always said I want a Virgo or Scorpio but I get that God decides. That same day I read about natural way to bring on labour pains which included eating pineapple, having sex or eating strong food. The strong food did not sound bad so I told my husband to take me to Cosy Corner (Fast food restaurant) where I ordered a Full House Masala Steak sandwich.
………
The next day (Thursday-27 September 2012) I woke up around 09:00am and felt sharpish pains in my lower back and the pit of my huge stomach. I though it is just a false alarm and carried on with my day as normal. Evan was still sleeping and I kept asking him to run me a bath but he kept falling asleep because he came home around 5am that morning from work. I sent messages to friends and family and all of them it’s probably nothing but if it is ‘that time’ then it is the early stages. Next thing something just told me to relax, so I asked my dad to run me a bath. I fell asleep in the bath and woke up after 11am. Now I realised hey maybe that Masala Steak worked and told Evan because I struggled to move but the contractions were bearable. The breathing does actually work for those of you that think you just look stupid doing it and it’s as waste of time-trust me it’s not. It made such as huge difference. My brother, husband and dad helped get things read to leave. It’s not like the movies where water break and 2 minutes later out pops the baby. Evan took a shower and I just sat on the end of the couch doing deep breathing.
We got to the hospital around 2pm and the nurse checks how far I am dilated and to their surprise I was 7cm already. They could not believe how well I managed it, yet I am the one that has such a weak threshold for pain. I was so proud of myself, including Evan. The thing is I would have given birth not too long after that but his head wasn’t far enough down the birth canal so we waited. Every hour the doctor came and checked how far his head was and eventually at 5pm he said lets go fetch him. Pushing went quite quick in my eyes but I tore and they had to cut me because Mason decided to put his hand out on the side of his face when coming out. They gave me an Episiotomy which according to www.medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com is ‘a surgical incision made in the area between the vagina and anus (perineum). This is done during the last stages of labour and delivery to expand the opening of the vagina to prevent tearing during the delivery.’ They done that to help me deliver and prevent anymore tearing, in my case. The cutting, tearing and stitches you don’t feel at all plus they give you an injection when you come in to help calm you. I was so proud I never used any drugs.-it was all natural, except the fact that I used the ‘happy gas’ that really got me through it. It is thanks to the natal classes, my husband, the doctor and awesome nurse. They got me through it. But mind you I though t it was going to be worse. It was not bad at all, just tiring. He started turning his head also so they used the vacuum towards the end to assist him coming out. I remember giving one massive push there because the doctor was telling the nurse to make sure the other room is prepared for us in case of a C-Section. This freaked the crap out of me. It is procedure I was advised, but still, I did not want to be cut there. Next thing doctor Brink literally throws Mason on me and I hold him while half asleep from exhaustion. What a feeling and seeing the look on my husbands’ face was amazing-priceless to say. I have such wonderful family and friends that support and love me-it’s amazing and such a lovely feeling.
The recovery in hospital was quick and the staff was so helpful and friendly. I had so much fun there, that I did not want to leave, seriously. My baby Mason was beautiful and slept a lot, which is normal. He weighed 3.7kg-no wonder he done so much damage to my body, but I would change that for anything in this world. He had Jaundice which according to the www.medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com is ‘a condition in which a person’s skin and the whites of the eyes are discoloured yellow due to an increased level of bile pigments in the blood.’ This is normal for many babies, we were advised as long as it is found in due time and treated. The Saturday when I left to go home, we had to leave him for the night in Natal ICU to wait for it to decrease, which it did and I we fetched him Sunday afternoon. That was one sad and lonely night, missing him that no words can explain. I cried a lot is all I am saying.
The next step was coming home and we had all the help we needed from family and friends if need be but the problem then became ‘baby blues’ (hopeless) where everything is overwhelming. You feel like a cow because all you there for is to feed your baby. I breastfed and I had no issues, other than Mason so extremely greedy and wanted to feed basically all the time. If he could sit on the bottle forever, he would. I had major issues with the recovery especially since I tore and they cut, so the stitches had to heal, but it was pain like you will not believe. The birth was easier-seriously. Luckily I have awesome husband and family that helped me move around and stuff. My husband done literally most of the stuff because I struggled to sit and get up, etc. He was off for a whole month, and trust me a was the best decision ever because you need that I would not have been able to have done it without them.
Anyway we listened to what doctors have said and followed books and we have not had any issues (touch wood), except he was a bit Colic, so there was a lot of vomiting but that was normal. He is one easy baby that does not cry. He follows his routine and sleeps right through the night. Our routine was simple, feed every 4-5 hours, change him, lastly play with him until he is ready to sleep. With becoming a parent, you need patience and strength because it is dam tiring regardless of whether you have an easy or difficult baby, but the key is repetition and consistency. We waited till 6 months before solids because the baby indicates when he is ready. You will see the bottle is not enough so there are signs.
So here we are today and my baby is a little over 7 months and it is awesome. I get exhausted and get help from my family because I juggle varsity as well but so far so good.
So for all you mothers out there I salute you and especially the single moms and the men who accept other men’s kids.
In conclusion-below are two poems I found on Facebook that is extremely touching and moving. I had to add this because nothing beats the wonderful feeling of being a mom and loving someone unconditionally and more than life itself.
#1
Untitled
‘I’ve carried a child within my body, slept with him/her on my chest. I’ve kissed little toes and wiped away tears. I’ve been vomited on, weed on and spend sleepless nights cradling my children. But I would not have it any other way. My body isn’t magazine perfect, but when I look into the mirror, I see a mom and there is no greater honour, love or blessing’.
‘I’ve carried a child within my body, slept with him/her on my chest. I’ve kissed little toes and wiped away tears. I’ve been vomited on, weed on and spend sleepless nights cradling my children. But I would not have it any other way. My body isn’t magazine perfect, but when I look into the mirror, I see a mom and there is no greater honour, love or blessing’.
#2
A Newborn’s conversation with God
‘A baby asked God, “”They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?” God said “your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you”. The child further inquired, “But tell me, here in Heaven I don’t have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.” God said, “Your angel will sing for you and also smile for you and you will feel your angel’s love and be very happy”. Again the small child asked, “And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don’t know the language?’. God said, “Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and will much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak”. “And what I going to do when I want to speak to you?” God said, “Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.” “Who will protect me?” God said, “Your angel will defend you, even if it means risking its life.” “But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore” God said, “Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back Me, even though I will always be next to you.” At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked. “God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angels name”. God said, “You will simply call her Mom:”
M-My
O-Only
M-Mentor
:-)
